It's almost end of August. Region & zone chief approach me last week. Again, i was being posted for my next mission. I know somehow i was being delayed for 4 months since i was being approached in April. But this time, the feeling was like i should be more or less ready to go. Because if i don't leave now, my members wont grow. My girls wont be able to have independent faith. But again, i truly be able to experience what it meant by V GD sharing on sansho shima that comes in good form. WD, Asst WD, MD & Chap WD all strongly agrees that i should not take up the role in the new chapter. WD has been calling me since last week, been sharing alot with her regarding who are the high possibilities of the new chapter chiefs are. Upon hearing that the new MD chapter is some1 whose life is so link with Sensei (this is what i feel) but in their mentality is that he's some1 who is so self driven, target oriented & chiong.. They refuse to move over strongly. It sounds so like a threat that if they are to move over as a whole district, they'll step down as members & to remain in the old chapter. Then if the district is to be led by Asst adults, they feel that it's not the right time.. haiZ~ I always remember that if we always say we are not ready, den when are we ready? Bcoz we r nvr ready, if we are to say we mus prepare ourselves to be ready. Last sat, chapter chiefs meet up with us. But in the end, the results are something that they didn't expect. It is like bad news really spread v fast. Ah wei called me 2 nights ago & was like asking liao.. hMmm.... Internal struggling has been going on for the 4th day. I know since the decision is oredi make not to like take up the role liao, den i shld not hv think so much rite now bcoz there's nth much tat i can do. Struggle to tell myself this is the best way out, though deep down i noe i am not convincing enough.... I have let Sensei down is bcoz tat i lack the courage to stand up.